I've Decided

I’ve decided that my goal in life is to make people feel happy, the way I strive to make "her" feel happy every day [she knows who she is]. Recently, it’s been a struggle just to keep a smile on my own face, but I’m determined to change my entire life around. My thoughts, my emotions, my energy sequence when something negative happens - I'm in need of a spiritual overhaul. A wise woman once shared a quote that I believe everyone should live by: “Life is 10% of what happens and 90% how we react to it” – I think that’s ingenious and a concept that can be applied well. I know it takes lots of effort to support a happy life style and a happy disposition, but it takes no less effort to get up every morning and go to the job that we must go to in order to survive or to take care of the responsibilities that we have to take care of on a daily basis. Why not apply those same efforts into our personal life as well? It has to start somewhere, let it start with you.

 

I know it’s typical for people to jump into a place of frustration, sadness, and disappointment when things don’t go our way. But why take that route when it makes you feel less of as a person? Feeling is the manifestation of our thoughts. When we feel badly or negatively, more negatives come to fruition. When we feel GOOD, goodness and positivity rein, around and throughout our life. Think about that for a moment. You have the power to change your situation minute to minute, day to day. You are in control. It may be difficult to cultivate this positivity [trust me I know], but it’s just a matter of you making a decision. It’s really that simple. Decide from this moment you’ll take in all the good, let it generate throughout your entire body and soul; and wait for the Universe to bring about what you think about most. Be happy and grateful above all things, and watch the miracles take place in reality, in your life.

 

Grow to Know, the Difference

I've recently found myself in the company of some pretty amazing people. Some with similar outlooks and opinions on life and love, and others with quite the opposing view. While, I cherish the perspective of all people who confide in me and seek my advice [and remain open minded] I still rely upon my inner moral compass, which lays the foundation for my point of view.

That being said, I've run into an interesting individual. I've spent a good amount of time having conversations over coffee, deliberating over lengthy telephone calls, as well as face to face. I thrive on open conversation that holds such depth and detail, as ours do. I find you come to various conclusions about life in general, once you engage in said conversations.

One main concept we discussed is growth between two people in a relationship. I think a relationship becomes stagnant, or otherwise unhealthy if two people aren't growing together, much less at the same growth rate. Many-a-times when this happens a clash happens [you know, disagreements, arguments, bickering - or my favorite term, world war III]. Someone gets too comfortable and decides that the day-to-day is good enough; or that nothing is wrong with how they conduct themselves, express their feelings, etc. While the other person presents themselves as a challenge to the other person [or nag], because a noticeable difference in the relational dynamic has unveiled itself over a period of time.

I feel this is a clear indication that you haven't found "the one" just another "one", if you will. I think when two people are on the same page in nearly all avenues of a relationship things tend to go a lot more smoothly. It just is - and when that happens you'll just know. Things fit together ever so nicely, and whatever tension or 'uncomfrortability' you were used to feeling is not as prevalent. This isn't to say those infamous disagreements and preemptive frustrations won't exist, because they absolutely do, and will present themselves accordingly. But the severity won't be nearly as bad and things will seemingly be worked out with more ease.

So what would I like you to get out this post? Challenge your point of view, examine yourself, your partner and your relationship as a whole. Are you both growing together? Growing apart? Growing at nearly the same rate? Or not at all? Is it adding to your life, or taking away from it? If you don't feel yourself learning and growing, there's a problem.

Seven Circles of Love...

I've been attempting to escape. Escape anything that reminded me of the past, for the past several weeks. I've done a decent job during those moments where light hits the ground. But when night falls, it becomes unbearable. I know these feelings have been felt by many, all different ages, shapes, sizes, races, and sex. Just as universal as love is, so is utter heartbreak. It is a part of life, that we face such things and chances are it always hurts one party more than the other. Your heart and its pieces just fall to the ground like ash, scattered and misplaced, stepped on repeatedly until they disintegrate. That's what it feels like.

Regardless of said depressing analogy, I've come to realize that sometimes love is misplaced, just like those pieces of the heart. If I had to describe it, I'd say there are various levels of love, and each person falls within a certain bracket. Almost like the seven circles of hell, except you can replace all the fire and brimstone with rainbows and butterflies. Anyway, my point is, there are those who love with all their might [their love moves mountains, that's how strong it is], who dwell in the seventh circle. And others, well, not so much - they dwell somewhere between one and six. They love until it isn't convenient anymore, until it becomes too difficult, challenging, or complex. Or to put it in leimens terms, they love conditionally. And although these people would beg to differ, defend themselves, and say, "Well, I loved you the best I could, it just wasn't good enough for you", that is when its your job [people in the seventh circle] to say, yes you're absolutely right. So you pack up your emotional, metaphorical, and physical baggage, and get the hell out of there!

Ha, if only it were that easy, right? Those of us in that small circle possess something that many do not, and that is unrequited love and strength. When the two meet, hand in hand, it is a bond that is nearly impossible to break. We are stubborn in love, hope, faith and anything that resembles the combination of the three. We saw such good in our past partners [or current for some of you] that we ignored the bad and withstood the pain for as long as could, despite the repeated offenses. But that's what unconditional love, true love, is all about isn't it? For the most part I would agree, at least conceptually, but there comes a time where it's also defined as abuse; be it physical, emotional, or mental. And those of us in the seventh circle deserve the same love we give out, don't we? (This is where you nod and smile).

So when I say, our love is misplaced, what I mean is that the ever unconditional love that can withstand anything, gets mixed up with the conditional, "as long as it's easy" lovers. Seven jumps to three, four, two - you get the point. Its a total clashing, a hot mess, and no matter what you do to try and force the two loves to work, it just won't. At least without one of you feeling slighted, disadvantaged and cheated. And in my opinion that is no way to live.

It's also important to remember, inevitably it's no ones fault - per say. Yes, you can be wronged multiple times by the same person - trust me, I've been there it hurts! It's no walk in the park by any means and there truly is no justifications for such actions, but not all people know what respect is nor what the definition of true love even stands for. I blame it on ignorance and lack of a good example throughout childhood. People just are who they are, and regardless how much you love them, sacrifice, wish, hope and pray - sometimes you just have to accept that its not enough. A seventh circle lover deserves to be loved at the capacity of a seventh circle love. Period. Because one to six will just get the silver platter, and you will be short changing yourself.

So let them go, let them all go. Surround them with peace and light, and wish them well. Don't burn their shit, or build a voodoo doll, or start practicing witch craft. Heaven knows the poor souls have enough learning to do and lessons to learn, believe that karma always catches up with the lot of them. But it is in your best interest to forgive and move on. No harm, no foul. And you'll be the better person for it.

A Personal Note...

My soul is rich, not as in currency - but rather, as in well rounded wealth. Something pure and decadent, complex but deliciously addicting. Like that double fudge chocolate brownie loaded with way too many calories; or an intoxicating new fragrance that you can't seem to get enough of. At least at first.

Regardless of said intoxicating scents or sinfully delicious desserts, I suppose these things can become repetitive after awhile and eventually you start to crave something that offers a difference. I often feel I have an overwhelming richness. Perhaps too potent for those faint of heart or those who simply prefer not to handle such intoxication's.

Some of the most inspirational people are rich in spirit, much like myself [overwhelming or not]. I feel I can't even put words behind the meaning I'm searching to describe. Maybe it is better expressed in song. Like "Pearls" by Sade. This song moves me in ways that I was unaware I could be moved. It conjures up something precious inside of me; that thing that sets me apart from so many. I know I'm not the only one, but for the life of me, I feel alone in this awareness at times. It allows me to feel complete in the moment, even when I consciously am surrounded by no one. In those same moments I am able to reflect on the past and all that it has taught me, and how it has paved my individual path. I am so grateful for this.

 Even in the darkest and dank areas in this world, still lies beauty that resonates calmness and purity. And in that symbolism, is where I live. It allows me to keep hope and faith even when it comes to what the world dubs as impossible. It allows the love I have to offer, to flourish with resilience; regardless of my short comings, bruised heart, and battered soul. It's still rich. And it will always be rich, and only become richer when it is nurtured by the right heart, the right person.

I will not long for completeness - like I do now - forever. After all, don't some people crave richness? Even the overwhelming kind? Of this I can't be sure, but, I will find out. There's a force stronger than nature, it keeps my will alive. Keeps my love deep and abundant. It highlights the rareness in me. That rareness has such beauty, but it is not always understood. It is not always cradled as it should be. Sometimes it is bullied or negatively looked upon by the realists of the world, or those who fail to understand. It doesn't mean a thing. Many of the worlds greatest minds were poorly understood, it doesn't make them any less credible. It just took the lot of us to finally catch on. And those same people are in our history books, making us think, scores later. I'm one of those. Who is reading this? Who is listening? Who is paying attention? Come, hold my hand and walk with me. Even if you don't fully understand, that's ok. Because in this lifetime it only takes faith. Not the religious kind or the traditional or conventional faith. Its one that isn't easily explained or taught. But it does exist. And that's all you need to know.

Sade "Pearls":  http://youtu.be/un8xpMnsf9U

I Like My Thoughts, Like I Like My Eggs... Sunny Side Up

I've never truly understood the power of the human mind until recently. I've read up on much literature in the last few months and continue to be enlightened by my findings. I've concluded, that, although we [as human beings] are more than capable of building out our future as we see fit, far too often we become side tracked and fail to realize the potential we hone. We allow certain fears, questions, and worries to overtake our abilities. We lose sight of the raw concept that 'thoughts become things', and instead we let other emotions get in the way. Another words, we let the mind control us as oppose to controlling the mind. And perhaps even 'control' is the wrong word. Guide is more appropriate.

I believe the more we attempt to 'control' things in life the more havoc is liable to be reeked; all in the name of experience and lessons. A wise person once told me that in matters of battle between the heart and the mind, one must consult a third party - the gut, which is just laymen’s terms for intuition. It's important to listen to it, follow it, and pay attention to the signs. More often than not we look at things logistically, realistically, rationally - and I'm not implying that those theories aren't important or that one shouldn't use such tactics, but you can't base life decisions solely using these concepts. With matters of the heart, well, it can be equally as disappointing, for the heart only recognizes what it feels and thrives on love (in most cases); and as many would say, love isn't always enough. This is where the gut has the potential to steer you in the right direction but it is faint and not easily heard. It can accessibly become clouded by logical thoughts of the mind or cries of the heart. In order to clear the clutter, meditation is suggested.

Meditation itself isn't always an easy task; it's the opposite of thinking, the opposite of concentration. It's the opposite of control. It's just letting go and letting your fears, concerns, and worries fall to the waist side and being quiet with yourself. After awhile calmness will wash over you and answers will just come. It takes practice and distinct determination, and of course the desire. I've enclosed a link that lists the "how to" steps to take toward meditation, hopefully it will be of some help and steadily place you on the path toward making the right decisions for yourself, where ever life has left you questioning.


 http://personalexcellence.co/blog/how-to-meditate-in-5-simple-steps/

Luxuries of Singledom

Up until very recently, I've always been mildly obsessed with the future; future house, future car, future love - and a precise enunciation on the latter of the three. Although I believe it is important to have a distinct outlook on what we want in life, there's no particular need to have it all planned out. Life is unpredictable [this has been proven to me many times over] and so 'planning the future' will only serve as disappointment if things don't end up going our way. If we truly want something, whether it be materialistic or otherwise, manifestation is an all encompassing power that we all have the ability to hone. This will bring about what we think about most and coincides with the laws of attraction. If some of you are unfamiliar with this "law" please refer to "The Secret", a marvelous book [and DVD] which sums up this very real philosophy. Although there is so much more to "The Secret" and its explanations, it is an introductory guide to an even larger truth. Enlighten yourself and expand your mind, I promise you won't regret it.

Back to basics, I often ask myself (as well as many others), what's the rush?! I too was one of those girls back in high school, reflecting on when I'd have life all put together, what I would be and the things I would have accomplished. I'd be married by 24 and possibly have children, no later than 28; I'd be in the entertainment industry, own a big house and a few nice cars. Was I serious (insert exacerbated sarcastic voice here)?? My sexual preference not only changed, but everything about who I was and who I was going to be did as well. I'm currently in my late 20's, more single than ever, and am an aspiring entrepreneur on various levels. I have no children [nor do I think I will ever have them] and I've decided that I forfeit this 'planned' futuristic outcome and just let the universe guide me where I need to be as oppose to attempting to control how my life will unfold. And who needs marriage at this age? For those of you who have found "the one" I applaud you and only wish you the best in this life, but for those of us who haven't been so successful in this discovery, let us remember we have the rest of our lives to figure it out and settle down! Putting a time frame and feeling rushed to jump into a lifelong commitment shouldn't be something to fret about, at least not now - if ever. It will come when it comes, when it's suppose to; just as that fancy house and that nice car or anything else we've come to desire.

I'm embracing this 'singledom', if you will. I'm learning that your 20's, in particular, are the best of your trial and error years. Taking the time to discover who you are and how you want to create yourself is a vital part of the foundation you set that will support that rest of your life. Once you are comfortable enough in your own skin, know where you're going and where you want to go, unlocks this empowerment within and allows you to fall in love with, you. Knowing exactly who you are and what you have to offer is fundamental before entering into any relationship or commitment. Sit back, relax, manifest in your greatest desires and get to know yourself first and foremost. Everything else will come in time as it should.

TMC, Thanks For Everything

The art of letting go, is anyone really good at it? Enough to call it an art? I've certainly had my experiences but let me tell you, with as much experience as I've had it surely doesn't get any easier. My most recent past love was probably one of the most prominent relationships I think I've ever had. I learned more from her than I've learned from anyone in my life thus far. I can say I've grown a lot and cared for her in a very unique way.

Sometimes, as most of us know, love just isn't enough. It does take a series of characteristics between two individuals to make a relationship work; coupled with the will from both parties to carry out that work. Relationships are tough, there is no doubt about that, but they should never compromise your happiness.

While moving on is something most of us have to face, sometimes more than we'd like, we are not alone. And I personally don't feel there is anything wrong with keeping hope stored in the back of your mind, because people can evolve and grow into something wonderful, all it takes is a little time. We never know where that time will lead us. Perhaps toward someone new or maybe those two people could be given a second chance at life in love later on down the line. Just remember anything is possible.