Grow to Know, the Difference

I've recently found myself in the company of some pretty amazing people. Some with similar outlooks and opinions on life and love, and others with quite the opposing view. While, I cherish the perspective of all people who confide in me and seek my advice [and remain open minded] I still rely upon my inner moral compass, which lays the foundation for my point of view.

That being said, I've run into an interesting individual. I've spent a good amount of time having conversations over coffee, deliberating over lengthy telephone calls, as well as face to face. I thrive on open conversation that holds such depth and detail, as ours do. I find you come to various conclusions about life in general, once you engage in said conversations.

One main concept we discussed is growth between two people in a relationship. I think a relationship becomes stagnant, or otherwise unhealthy if two people aren't growing together, much less at the same growth rate. Many-a-times when this happens a clash happens [you know, disagreements, arguments, bickering - or my favorite term, world war III]. Someone gets too comfortable and decides that the day-to-day is good enough; or that nothing is wrong with how they conduct themselves, express their feelings, etc. While the other person presents themselves as a challenge to the other person [or nag], because a noticeable difference in the relational dynamic has unveiled itself over a period of time.

I feel this is a clear indication that you haven't found "the one" just another "one", if you will. I think when two people are on the same page in nearly all avenues of a relationship things tend to go a lot more smoothly. It just is - and when that happens you'll just know. Things fit together ever so nicely, and whatever tension or 'uncomfrortability' you were used to feeling is not as prevalent. This isn't to say those infamous disagreements and preemptive frustrations won't exist, because they absolutely do, and will present themselves accordingly. But the severity won't be nearly as bad and things will seemingly be worked out with more ease.

So what would I like you to get out this post? Challenge your point of view, examine yourself, your partner and your relationship as a whole. Are you both growing together? Growing apart? Growing at nearly the same rate? Or not at all? Is it adding to your life, or taking away from it? If you don't feel yourself learning and growing, there's a problem.

Let's Look Outside the Box Shall We?

I think many of us look for great change, especially now-a-days with the economy the way it is and this sense of uncertainty that sort of looms in the air around us during these trying days. But no great change comes without risk and the ability to look outside of ourselves, and, what we've been accustom to for what seems like the majority of our lives. I'll use myself as an example to clarify what I mean.

I know I feel like I'm going through this quarter life crisis and it was a series of unfortunate events that has lead me to this very moment, however, I know I wouldn't be on this path of self discovery and creation if I hadn't suffered the way that I did. I made a conscious decision to look outside of  the box and view myself, as well as the world, differently then I had been viewing it before. Although I always strive to gain better perspectives on life itself, I feel as though my angles were a bit tainted. Perhaps it had to do with my up bringing or the way I've learned to shield myself from certain realities in efforts to protect myself from various vulnerabilities. But nothing great ever comes from playing it safe, I don't necessarily mean that in the literal sense.

Any type of monumental growth comes from evolution and change. Not that we should strive for this change because of a mate, friend or family member; we have to want this change for ourselves - and not just want it but put it into action. It takes tremendous strength and serious self awareness, but with our friend Father Time, I feel all things are possible.

If you find yourself in limbo or unhappy due to whatever circumstances you are facing, remember you always have the option to turn things around. So stop making excuses for yourself, stop playing it safe all the time, and stop telling yourself that you just cant; because that isn't good enough. You can, everyone can, and you will, you just have to take the first step - I promise it will get easier after that.