Grow to Know, the Difference

I've recently found myself in the company of some pretty amazing people. Some with similar outlooks and opinions on life and love, and others with quite the opposing view. While, I cherish the perspective of all people who confide in me and seek my advice [and remain open minded] I still rely upon my inner moral compass, which lays the foundation for my point of view.

That being said, I've run into an interesting individual. I've spent a good amount of time having conversations over coffee, deliberating over lengthy telephone calls, as well as face to face. I thrive on open conversation that holds such depth and detail, as ours do. I find you come to various conclusions about life in general, once you engage in said conversations.

One main concept we discussed is growth between two people in a relationship. I think a relationship becomes stagnant, or otherwise unhealthy if two people aren't growing together, much less at the same growth rate. Many-a-times when this happens a clash happens [you know, disagreements, arguments, bickering - or my favorite term, world war III]. Someone gets too comfortable and decides that the day-to-day is good enough; or that nothing is wrong with how they conduct themselves, express their feelings, etc. While the other person presents themselves as a challenge to the other person [or nag], because a noticeable difference in the relational dynamic has unveiled itself over a period of time.

I feel this is a clear indication that you haven't found "the one" just another "one", if you will. I think when two people are on the same page in nearly all avenues of a relationship things tend to go a lot more smoothly. It just is - and when that happens you'll just know. Things fit together ever so nicely, and whatever tension or 'uncomfrortability' you were used to feeling is not as prevalent. This isn't to say those infamous disagreements and preemptive frustrations won't exist, because they absolutely do, and will present themselves accordingly. But the severity won't be nearly as bad and things will seemingly be worked out with more ease.

So what would I like you to get out this post? Challenge your point of view, examine yourself, your partner and your relationship as a whole. Are you both growing together? Growing apart? Growing at nearly the same rate? Or not at all? Is it adding to your life, or taking away from it? If you don't feel yourself learning and growing, there's a problem.

Luxuries of Singledom

Up until very recently, I've always been mildly obsessed with the future; future house, future car, future love - and a precise enunciation on the latter of the three. Although I believe it is important to have a distinct outlook on what we want in life, there's no particular need to have it all planned out. Life is unpredictable [this has been proven to me many times over] and so 'planning the future' will only serve as disappointment if things don't end up going our way. If we truly want something, whether it be materialistic or otherwise, manifestation is an all encompassing power that we all have the ability to hone. This will bring about what we think about most and coincides with the laws of attraction. If some of you are unfamiliar with this "law" please refer to "The Secret", a marvelous book [and DVD] which sums up this very real philosophy. Although there is so much more to "The Secret" and its explanations, it is an introductory guide to an even larger truth. Enlighten yourself and expand your mind, I promise you won't regret it.

Back to basics, I often ask myself (as well as many others), what's the rush?! I too was one of those girls back in high school, reflecting on when I'd have life all put together, what I would be and the things I would have accomplished. I'd be married by 24 and possibly have children, no later than 28; I'd be in the entertainment industry, own a big house and a few nice cars. Was I serious (insert exacerbated sarcastic voice here)?? My sexual preference not only changed, but everything about who I was and who I was going to be did as well. I'm currently in my late 20's, more single than ever, and am an aspiring entrepreneur on various levels. I have no children [nor do I think I will ever have them] and I've decided that I forfeit this 'planned' futuristic outcome and just let the universe guide me where I need to be as oppose to attempting to control how my life will unfold. And who needs marriage at this age? For those of you who have found "the one" I applaud you and only wish you the best in this life, but for those of us who haven't been so successful in this discovery, let us remember we have the rest of our lives to figure it out and settle down! Putting a time frame and feeling rushed to jump into a lifelong commitment shouldn't be something to fret about, at least not now - if ever. It will come when it comes, when it's suppose to; just as that fancy house and that nice car or anything else we've come to desire.

I'm embracing this 'singledom', if you will. I'm learning that your 20's, in particular, are the best of your trial and error years. Taking the time to discover who you are and how you want to create yourself is a vital part of the foundation you set that will support that rest of your life. Once you are comfortable enough in your own skin, know where you're going and where you want to go, unlocks this empowerment within and allows you to fall in love with, you. Knowing exactly who you are and what you have to offer is fundamental before entering into any relationship or commitment. Sit back, relax, manifest in your greatest desires and get to know yourself first and foremost. Everything else will come in time as it should.

Forgive Me Not?

I think one of the most important things to keep in mind when struggling through a break up, is, to take a hard look at yourself. I know most of us feel angry at the other party, for all the ways they've wronged against us, but we all know that classic saying "it takes two"; and it certainly does. Although in my personal experience I've gathered one party can feel like they've been wronged far worse than the other, the string only unravels if it is tugged at each end. We all know it can be quite impossible to forget, but it is vitally important to forgive; it is the only way we are able to move on successfully.