A Personal Note...

My soul is rich, not as in currency - but rather, as in well rounded wealth. Something pure and decadent, complex but deliciously addicting. Like that double fudge chocolate brownie loaded with way too many calories; or an intoxicating new fragrance that you can't seem to get enough of. At least at first.

Regardless of said intoxicating scents or sinfully delicious desserts, I suppose these things can become repetitive after awhile and eventually you start to crave something that offers a difference. I often feel I have an overwhelming richness. Perhaps too potent for those faint of heart or those who simply prefer not to handle such intoxication's.

Some of the most inspirational people are rich in spirit, much like myself [overwhelming or not]. I feel I can't even put words behind the meaning I'm searching to describe. Maybe it is better expressed in song. Like "Pearls" by Sade. This song moves me in ways that I was unaware I could be moved. It conjures up something precious inside of me; that thing that sets me apart from so many. I know I'm not the only one, but for the life of me, I feel alone in this awareness at times. It allows me to feel complete in the moment, even when I consciously am surrounded by no one. In those same moments I am able to reflect on the past and all that it has taught me, and how it has paved my individual path. I am so grateful for this.

 Even in the darkest and dank areas in this world, still lies beauty that resonates calmness and purity. And in that symbolism, is where I live. It allows me to keep hope and faith even when it comes to what the world dubs as impossible. It allows the love I have to offer, to flourish with resilience; regardless of my short comings, bruised heart, and battered soul. It's still rich. And it will always be rich, and only become richer when it is nurtured by the right heart, the right person.

I will not long for completeness - like I do now - forever. After all, don't some people crave richness? Even the overwhelming kind? Of this I can't be sure, but, I will find out. There's a force stronger than nature, it keeps my will alive. Keeps my love deep and abundant. It highlights the rareness in me. That rareness has such beauty, but it is not always understood. It is not always cradled as it should be. Sometimes it is bullied or negatively looked upon by the realists of the world, or those who fail to understand. It doesn't mean a thing. Many of the worlds greatest minds were poorly understood, it doesn't make them any less credible. It just took the lot of us to finally catch on. And those same people are in our history books, making us think, scores later. I'm one of those. Who is reading this? Who is listening? Who is paying attention? Come, hold my hand and walk with me. Even if you don't fully understand, that's ok. Because in this lifetime it only takes faith. Not the religious kind or the traditional or conventional faith. Its one that isn't easily explained or taught. But it does exist. And that's all you need to know.

Sade "Pearls":  http://youtu.be/un8xpMnsf9U

I Like My Thoughts, Like I Like My Eggs... Sunny Side Up

I've never truly understood the power of the human mind until recently. I've read up on much literature in the last few months and continue to be enlightened by my findings. I've concluded, that, although we [as human beings] are more than capable of building out our future as we see fit, far too often we become side tracked and fail to realize the potential we hone. We allow certain fears, questions, and worries to overtake our abilities. We lose sight of the raw concept that 'thoughts become things', and instead we let other emotions get in the way. Another words, we let the mind control us as oppose to controlling the mind. And perhaps even 'control' is the wrong word. Guide is more appropriate.

I believe the more we attempt to 'control' things in life the more havoc is liable to be reeked; all in the name of experience and lessons. A wise person once told me that in matters of battle between the heart and the mind, one must consult a third party - the gut, which is just laymen’s terms for intuition. It's important to listen to it, follow it, and pay attention to the signs. More often than not we look at things logistically, realistically, rationally - and I'm not implying that those theories aren't important or that one shouldn't use such tactics, but you can't base life decisions solely using these concepts. With matters of the heart, well, it can be equally as disappointing, for the heart only recognizes what it feels and thrives on love (in most cases); and as many would say, love isn't always enough. This is where the gut has the potential to steer you in the right direction but it is faint and not easily heard. It can accessibly become clouded by logical thoughts of the mind or cries of the heart. In order to clear the clutter, meditation is suggested.

Meditation itself isn't always an easy task; it's the opposite of thinking, the opposite of concentration. It's the opposite of control. It's just letting go and letting your fears, concerns, and worries fall to the waist side and being quiet with yourself. After awhile calmness will wash over you and answers will just come. It takes practice and distinct determination, and of course the desire. I've enclosed a link that lists the "how to" steps to take toward meditation, hopefully it will be of some help and steadily place you on the path toward making the right decisions for yourself, where ever life has left you questioning.


 http://personalexcellence.co/blog/how-to-meditate-in-5-simple-steps/

Stay Above Water...

It's difficult to stay above water. What I mean by that? I often use it as an analogy of sorts to describe what it's like to have a full, well rounded, and rational view on a circumstance, person, place, or even relational experience. I know personally, I am guilty for letting my deeper rooted emotions get the best of me in the heat of the moment. I consider myself a very passionate person, so in any given situation [if it's something I feel strong enough about] I usually blurt out whatever comes to mind first. This can prove to be a good and bad trait I find. Although it is always preferable to speak your mind and be as honest as possible, there are moments which call for a re-evaluation of sorts. I let the fiery side of me [if you will] get carried away, thus exposing my most embarrassing display of verbal diarrhea. It gets me in a heap of trouble. And it's only usually the morning after that I'm able to better understand the jist of the concept or process at hand.

Far too often we find ourselves sinking six feet under. Getting caught up in past term oil, subconscious pain, not so fond memories, jealousy, spite, and any other pessimistic human emotion (insert adjective here). It blocks us from seeing a deeper meaning or higher truth about a subject. Thus, causing us to go from staying afloat, to sinking below the surface and getting lost in the sauce.

Believe me, I know these concepts are difficult. I have my own daily struggles, but it is imperative to separate a reaction from an action, from an overreaction. It takes time and practice, however, maintaining an aerial view of things will ensure rational behaviors as well as sanity.

Seek A Higher Truth...

Taking the path of least resistance isn't always the smartest choice. In concepts not involved with keeping peace of course, because least resistance in those areas are always preferred. However, in life or in love, the more challenges we face the more skilled we become and the more lessons we learn. Even provided the text books that captivate our nation’s history between hard covers and airy pages, there was great suffering, bravery, and battles before successful reconciliation was had. But it was within those trials and tribulations that we had great triumph. I don't mean in the sense of winning wars or relinquishing slavery, but in the valuable lessons that were learned because of these historic events. Although ignorance still very much exists, rays of hope have never shined so brilliantly. Earth, and all it encompasses, is on the move and a greater truth is slowly arising. But these 'truths' won't make sense to those who haven't peeled back the layers of societal conformities or mistaken conceptualizations of love and what it’s made up of. So dare to agree with me when I say, no, ignorance is not always blissful.

People far too often shun the thought of vulnerability or change, but how are we ever expected to flourish without these ideals? Yes, we must suffer in our own respects, however the universe sees fit, but it's all to bring us closer to a better version of ourselves. Less selfish and more selfless, more giving and less greedy, and wealthy beyond the objectives of money. If only we could all take in these vital life and love lessons we can come to an overwhelming reality, one no rational man would even dare to dream or take seriously. If only we can discard this regurgitated knowledge from "credible sources" and governmental upbringing, we can see vast possibilities far beyond our limited comprehension. We are all equal and apart of one another [please excuse this cliché phrase but it's the only appropriate quote], “the circle of life”.

 The only limitation is ourselves, boggled down with concepts of fact verses fiction because it's what we've been feed for centuries. Once we trudge through these facades of 'reality', we can hone the truth behind ideology and realize we are all part of a greater purpose, and can give just as readily as we receive.

Luxuries of Singledom

Up until very recently, I've always been mildly obsessed with the future; future house, future car, future love - and a precise enunciation on the latter of the three. Although I believe it is important to have a distinct outlook on what we want in life, there's no particular need to have it all planned out. Life is unpredictable [this has been proven to me many times over] and so 'planning the future' will only serve as disappointment if things don't end up going our way. If we truly want something, whether it be materialistic or otherwise, manifestation is an all encompassing power that we all have the ability to hone. This will bring about what we think about most and coincides with the laws of attraction. If some of you are unfamiliar with this "law" please refer to "The Secret", a marvelous book [and DVD] which sums up this very real philosophy. Although there is so much more to "The Secret" and its explanations, it is an introductory guide to an even larger truth. Enlighten yourself and expand your mind, I promise you won't regret it.

Back to basics, I often ask myself (as well as many others), what's the rush?! I too was one of those girls back in high school, reflecting on when I'd have life all put together, what I would be and the things I would have accomplished. I'd be married by 24 and possibly have children, no later than 28; I'd be in the entertainment industry, own a big house and a few nice cars. Was I serious (insert exacerbated sarcastic voice here)?? My sexual preference not only changed, but everything about who I was and who I was going to be did as well. I'm currently in my late 20's, more single than ever, and am an aspiring entrepreneur on various levels. I have no children [nor do I think I will ever have them] and I've decided that I forfeit this 'planned' futuristic outcome and just let the universe guide me where I need to be as oppose to attempting to control how my life will unfold. And who needs marriage at this age? For those of you who have found "the one" I applaud you and only wish you the best in this life, but for those of us who haven't been so successful in this discovery, let us remember we have the rest of our lives to figure it out and settle down! Putting a time frame and feeling rushed to jump into a lifelong commitment shouldn't be something to fret about, at least not now - if ever. It will come when it comes, when it's suppose to; just as that fancy house and that nice car or anything else we've come to desire.

I'm embracing this 'singledom', if you will. I'm learning that your 20's, in particular, are the best of your trial and error years. Taking the time to discover who you are and how you want to create yourself is a vital part of the foundation you set that will support that rest of your life. Once you are comfortable enough in your own skin, know where you're going and where you want to go, unlocks this empowerment within and allows you to fall in love with, you. Knowing exactly who you are and what you have to offer is fundamental before entering into any relationship or commitment. Sit back, relax, manifest in your greatest desires and get to know yourself first and foremost. Everything else will come in time as it should.

TMC, Thanks For Everything

The art of letting go, is anyone really good at it? Enough to call it an art? I've certainly had my experiences but let me tell you, with as much experience as I've had it surely doesn't get any easier. My most recent past love was probably one of the most prominent relationships I think I've ever had. I learned more from her than I've learned from anyone in my life thus far. I can say I've grown a lot and cared for her in a very unique way.

Sometimes, as most of us know, love just isn't enough. It does take a series of characteristics between two individuals to make a relationship work; coupled with the will from both parties to carry out that work. Relationships are tough, there is no doubt about that, but they should never compromise your happiness.

While moving on is something most of us have to face, sometimes more than we'd like, we are not alone. And I personally don't feel there is anything wrong with keeping hope stored in the back of your mind, because people can evolve and grow into something wonderful, all it takes is a little time. We never know where that time will lead us. Perhaps toward someone new or maybe those two people could be given a second chance at life in love later on down the line. Just remember anything is possible.

Do You Have a Friendship-ish?

I realize the term, 'friendship-ish' is rather confusing, but I promise I can define this for you. I'm sure many of you can relate to that 'in between' period when you first exit a pre-existing relationship; your nerves are shot, your emotions are out of whack, and you've collected a disturbing amount of used tissues that are steadily over growing in your waste basket as you reflect on all the wrong doings and fond memories. Post war, you feel lonely and extra vulnerable so it's easy to fall into a rebound in efforts to fill that void that is guaranteed to be there, it's only natural. I don't condone any form of a rebound really, it's not fair to anyone, especially yourself. You need to allow the proper time to heal from past love, if you don't the chances are high that you'll just keep making the same mistakes again and again. And you don't want that now do you? I didn't think so.

There are special circumstances, however, that may arise while you're in this healing, 'gotta get over them' limbo. That 'circumstance' is what I call a 'friendship-ish'; when a fabulous person enters into your life without so much as a warning. You stumble upon the right combination of chemistry between two people and you enjoy them and the mixture of both personalities, but the timing isn't right. It all starts out so innocent until you get to know them better. You have great conversation and a genuine good time, but you just can't bring yourself to dive into something you know you aren't emotionally or mentally ready for; especially if the respect and admiration you have for that individual exceeds that of a mere rebound!

People like this that have proven to be wonderful and genuinely seem worth all your efforts, usually are, so I believe it's important to be 'all in' before the inkling of pursuing anything further even crosses your mind. It may be hard to control yourself and your feelings, but nothing is worth getting into if you find yourself scattered in the emotional department. I've been guilty of jumping into dating or even full blown relationships before I'm ready. It never worked out for me in the past, and I know it wouldn't work out for me now. If you've found yourself in similar situations I can almost guarantee you'd feel the same, or at the very least relate in some fashion.

So what do I say in terms of all this? Friendship first. The universe tends to place you were you need to be and dually place people in your life for similar reasons. Whether to aid in struggles, trials and tribulations or just simply to show you that you aren't crazy, there are people who exist and believe in the concept of love and relationships, just as you do. I know the concept behind a healthy committed relationship has been difficult for me to relate to with others in the past. I was starting to question if anyone really felt the same or if I was reading into too many happily ever afters. Although I feel like I've become a bit more realistic in terms of two people making a relationship functional, I know my ideology behind love inevitably remains the same. Everyones definition can be different, and that's OK, you'll just want to find someone who feels similarly to your own personal feelings or at the very least respects it and is willing to compromise.

Personally, I've found myself in this situation a number of times but I never had the sense of control like I do now, and all those past relationships with people that should have been friendship-ish's at first, are no longer in my life. It's sad because if I would have waited maybe things would have been different, maybe they could have still been in my life one way or another, but too many of us become impatient. Now, I find myself in a similar situation and for arguments' sake we'll give her a nickname and call her, eh, Pat Benatar [just for the mere fact that she rocks my socks]. I like Pat and I think she has a collection of characteristics that I'd like to find in someone when I'm ready. But for now I will enjoy her company and cultivate a good friendship-ish and sometimes decisions like these are the best ones we can make for our hearts.