I've Decided

I’ve decided that my goal in life is to make people feel happy, the way I strive to make "her" feel happy every day [she knows who she is]. Recently, it’s been a struggle just to keep a smile on my own face, but I’m determined to change my entire life around. My thoughts, my emotions, my energy sequence when something negative happens - I'm in need of a spiritual overhaul. A wise woman once shared a quote that I believe everyone should live by: “Life is 10% of what happens and 90% how we react to it” – I think that’s ingenious and a concept that can be applied well. I know it takes lots of effort to support a happy life style and a happy disposition, but it takes no less effort to get up every morning and go to the job that we must go to in order to survive or to take care of the responsibilities that we have to take care of on a daily basis. Why not apply those same efforts into our personal life as well? It has to start somewhere, let it start with you.

 

I know it’s typical for people to jump into a place of frustration, sadness, and disappointment when things don’t go our way. But why take that route when it makes you feel less of as a person? Feeling is the manifestation of our thoughts. When we feel badly or negatively, more negatives come to fruition. When we feel GOOD, goodness and positivity rein, around and throughout our life. Think about that for a moment. You have the power to change your situation minute to minute, day to day. You are in control. It may be difficult to cultivate this positivity [trust me I know], but it’s just a matter of you making a decision. It’s really that simple. Decide from this moment you’ll take in all the good, let it generate throughout your entire body and soul; and wait for the Universe to bring about what you think about most. Be happy and grateful above all things, and watch the miracles take place in reality, in your life.

 

Before You Jump Head First...

I've noticed that love can be difficult. Difficult in a way that's comparable to a classroom full of two year old children, who've just been told Santa doesn't exist, the Easter Bunny is retired, and all you get for Halloween this year are tooth brushes and dental floss. I'll let you take a minute to let that sink in...

I suppose my point is that it's so funny how various people come into our lives at different times for different reasons. Some make a world of sense and are designed as roots in your life. Others are never what you thought you'd allow yourself to encounter, but that experience and their memories still outline the perimeter of your life anyway. And some of us encounter a love so devastating, it makes you question if you'd ever be able to open yourself up again to anyone. Unfortunately, I think I've been exposed to all of these relational concepts and it hasn't proven to be easy to go through. I think I've felt lost for a few years and I'm just now starting to get my bearings again. And so, love is difficult.

Sometimes we have an idea of a person or a relationship - what it should be and who with. What it should consist of. What it should feel like. Oh, how we've been influenced by media and entertainment. Honestly, what books and movies have a right to regurgitate our understanding of how, where, and what love should look and feel like? Do we not all go in our own direction,  down our own path? Doesn't it look and feel different for all of us? I mean, I'd like the fairy tale. I'd like the romantic comedy starring Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock. And now that I think about it, perhaps we will get our movie based love - it just won't look exactly like Hollywood portrays it, and we'll have to be ok with that.

I feel now, in today's society it's rare to find people that just want to take the time to get to know one another, before jumping in head first based on particular attractions. It's dangerous, and many people get hurt that way. It would be nice to bring it down a few notches, conduct ourselves like the kids in the 1950's. I want the sweet gestures and outings. I want the ferris wheel  ride at the carnival with cotton candy, the kiss under the stars, and to sport the letter jacket so everyone knows I'm taken. Those were the good times, that old fashion love. Where has that gone? Why don't people take the time to care? What's happen to this generation and why don't we seek something more out of people - out of ourselves?

I've been guilty of falling into societal norms, in regards to how dating and "relationships" have evolved and how we've conducted ourselves getting there. It hasn't worked thus far, so I think taking a lesson from our elders might suit us well here. It is important to take time to really digest a person, inside and out before jumping into something [relationships, bedrooms, you know]. What's the rush anyway? Are we all in a hurry to grow up, get married, and have babies? You're building a foundation [or at least you should be], should you not be 1,000% certain you're doing it with the right person on every level, as oppose to convenience or simple attractions?

 I encourage others to look at someone in depth. Don't just get to know their body, but their soul. I feel people are only as good as their intentions, and so, it is something we should take our time getting to know. After all, we are preparing ourself for an investment of our love - we need to be conscious that it fits in all the right areas before we jump in head first!

Grow to Know, the Difference

I've recently found myself in the company of some pretty amazing people. Some with similar outlooks and opinions on life and love, and others with quite the opposing view. While, I cherish the perspective of all people who confide in me and seek my advice [and remain open minded] I still rely upon my inner moral compass, which lays the foundation for my point of view.

That being said, I've run into an interesting individual. I've spent a good amount of time having conversations over coffee, deliberating over lengthy telephone calls, as well as face to face. I thrive on open conversation that holds such depth and detail, as ours do. I find you come to various conclusions about life in general, once you engage in said conversations.

One main concept we discussed is growth between two people in a relationship. I think a relationship becomes stagnant, or otherwise unhealthy if two people aren't growing together, much less at the same growth rate. Many-a-times when this happens a clash happens [you know, disagreements, arguments, bickering - or my favorite term, world war III]. Someone gets too comfortable and decides that the day-to-day is good enough; or that nothing is wrong with how they conduct themselves, express their feelings, etc. While the other person presents themselves as a challenge to the other person [or nag], because a noticeable difference in the relational dynamic has unveiled itself over a period of time.

I feel this is a clear indication that you haven't found "the one" just another "one", if you will. I think when two people are on the same page in nearly all avenues of a relationship things tend to go a lot more smoothly. It just is - and when that happens you'll just know. Things fit together ever so nicely, and whatever tension or 'uncomfrortability' you were used to feeling is not as prevalent. This isn't to say those infamous disagreements and preemptive frustrations won't exist, because they absolutely do, and will present themselves accordingly. But the severity won't be nearly as bad and things will seemingly be worked out with more ease.

So what would I like you to get out this post? Challenge your point of view, examine yourself, your partner and your relationship as a whole. Are you both growing together? Growing apart? Growing at nearly the same rate? Or not at all? Is it adding to your life, or taking away from it? If you don't feel yourself learning and growing, there's a problem.

Seven Circles of Love...

I've been attempting to escape. Escape anything that reminded me of the past, for the past several weeks. I've done a decent job during those moments where light hits the ground. But when night falls, it becomes unbearable. I know these feelings have been felt by many, all different ages, shapes, sizes, races, and sex. Just as universal as love is, so is utter heartbreak. It is a part of life, that we face such things and chances are it always hurts one party more than the other. Your heart and its pieces just fall to the ground like ash, scattered and misplaced, stepped on repeatedly until they disintegrate. That's what it feels like.

Regardless of said depressing analogy, I've come to realize that sometimes love is misplaced, just like those pieces of the heart. If I had to describe it, I'd say there are various levels of love, and each person falls within a certain bracket. Almost like the seven circles of hell, except you can replace all the fire and brimstone with rainbows and butterflies. Anyway, my point is, there are those who love with all their might [their love moves mountains, that's how strong it is], who dwell in the seventh circle. And others, well, not so much - they dwell somewhere between one and six. They love until it isn't convenient anymore, until it becomes too difficult, challenging, or complex. Or to put it in leimens terms, they love conditionally. And although these people would beg to differ, defend themselves, and say, "Well, I loved you the best I could, it just wasn't good enough for you", that is when its your job [people in the seventh circle] to say, yes you're absolutely right. So you pack up your emotional, metaphorical, and physical baggage, and get the hell out of there!

Ha, if only it were that easy, right? Those of us in that small circle possess something that many do not, and that is unrequited love and strength. When the two meet, hand in hand, it is a bond that is nearly impossible to break. We are stubborn in love, hope, faith and anything that resembles the combination of the three. We saw such good in our past partners [or current for some of you] that we ignored the bad and withstood the pain for as long as could, despite the repeated offenses. But that's what unconditional love, true love, is all about isn't it? For the most part I would agree, at least conceptually, but there comes a time where it's also defined as abuse; be it physical, emotional, or mental. And those of us in the seventh circle deserve the same love we give out, don't we? (This is where you nod and smile).

So when I say, our love is misplaced, what I mean is that the ever unconditional love that can withstand anything, gets mixed up with the conditional, "as long as it's easy" lovers. Seven jumps to three, four, two - you get the point. Its a total clashing, a hot mess, and no matter what you do to try and force the two loves to work, it just won't. At least without one of you feeling slighted, disadvantaged and cheated. And in my opinion that is no way to live.

It's also important to remember, inevitably it's no ones fault - per say. Yes, you can be wronged multiple times by the same person - trust me, I've been there it hurts! It's no walk in the park by any means and there truly is no justifications for such actions, but not all people know what respect is nor what the definition of true love even stands for. I blame it on ignorance and lack of a good example throughout childhood. People just are who they are, and regardless how much you love them, sacrifice, wish, hope and pray - sometimes you just have to accept that its not enough. A seventh circle lover deserves to be loved at the capacity of a seventh circle love. Period. Because one to six will just get the silver platter, and you will be short changing yourself.

So let them go, let them all go. Surround them with peace and light, and wish them well. Don't burn their shit, or build a voodoo doll, or start practicing witch craft. Heaven knows the poor souls have enough learning to do and lessons to learn, believe that karma always catches up with the lot of them. But it is in your best interest to forgive and move on. No harm, no foul. And you'll be the better person for it.

A Personal Note...

My soul is rich, not as in currency - but rather, as in well rounded wealth. Something pure and decadent, complex but deliciously addicting. Like that double fudge chocolate brownie loaded with way too many calories; or an intoxicating new fragrance that you can't seem to get enough of. At least at first.

Regardless of said intoxicating scents or sinfully delicious desserts, I suppose these things can become repetitive after awhile and eventually you start to crave something that offers a difference. I often feel I have an overwhelming richness. Perhaps too potent for those faint of heart or those who simply prefer not to handle such intoxication's.

Some of the most inspirational people are rich in spirit, much like myself [overwhelming or not]. I feel I can't even put words behind the meaning I'm searching to describe. Maybe it is better expressed in song. Like "Pearls" by Sade. This song moves me in ways that I was unaware I could be moved. It conjures up something precious inside of me; that thing that sets me apart from so many. I know I'm not the only one, but for the life of me, I feel alone in this awareness at times. It allows me to feel complete in the moment, even when I consciously am surrounded by no one. In those same moments I am able to reflect on the past and all that it has taught me, and how it has paved my individual path. I am so grateful for this.

 Even in the darkest and dank areas in this world, still lies beauty that resonates calmness and purity. And in that symbolism, is where I live. It allows me to keep hope and faith even when it comes to what the world dubs as impossible. It allows the love I have to offer, to flourish with resilience; regardless of my short comings, bruised heart, and battered soul. It's still rich. And it will always be rich, and only become richer when it is nurtured by the right heart, the right person.

I will not long for completeness - like I do now - forever. After all, don't some people crave richness? Even the overwhelming kind? Of this I can't be sure, but, I will find out. There's a force stronger than nature, it keeps my will alive. Keeps my love deep and abundant. It highlights the rareness in me. That rareness has such beauty, but it is not always understood. It is not always cradled as it should be. Sometimes it is bullied or negatively looked upon by the realists of the world, or those who fail to understand. It doesn't mean a thing. Many of the worlds greatest minds were poorly understood, it doesn't make them any less credible. It just took the lot of us to finally catch on. And those same people are in our history books, making us think, scores later. I'm one of those. Who is reading this? Who is listening? Who is paying attention? Come, hold my hand and walk with me. Even if you don't fully understand, that's ok. Because in this lifetime it only takes faith. Not the religious kind or the traditional or conventional faith. Its one that isn't easily explained or taught. But it does exist. And that's all you need to know.

Sade "Pearls":  http://youtu.be/un8xpMnsf9U

I Like My Thoughts, Like I Like My Eggs... Sunny Side Up

I've never truly understood the power of the human mind until recently. I've read up on much literature in the last few months and continue to be enlightened by my findings. I've concluded, that, although we [as human beings] are more than capable of building out our future as we see fit, far too often we become side tracked and fail to realize the potential we hone. We allow certain fears, questions, and worries to overtake our abilities. We lose sight of the raw concept that 'thoughts become things', and instead we let other emotions get in the way. Another words, we let the mind control us as oppose to controlling the mind. And perhaps even 'control' is the wrong word. Guide is more appropriate.

I believe the more we attempt to 'control' things in life the more havoc is liable to be reeked; all in the name of experience and lessons. A wise person once told me that in matters of battle between the heart and the mind, one must consult a third party - the gut, which is just laymen’s terms for intuition. It's important to listen to it, follow it, and pay attention to the signs. More often than not we look at things logistically, realistically, rationally - and I'm not implying that those theories aren't important or that one shouldn't use such tactics, but you can't base life decisions solely using these concepts. With matters of the heart, well, it can be equally as disappointing, for the heart only recognizes what it feels and thrives on love (in most cases); and as many would say, love isn't always enough. This is where the gut has the potential to steer you in the right direction but it is faint and not easily heard. It can accessibly become clouded by logical thoughts of the mind or cries of the heart. In order to clear the clutter, meditation is suggested.

Meditation itself isn't always an easy task; it's the opposite of thinking, the opposite of concentration. It's the opposite of control. It's just letting go and letting your fears, concerns, and worries fall to the waist side and being quiet with yourself. After awhile calmness will wash over you and answers will just come. It takes practice and distinct determination, and of course the desire. I've enclosed a link that lists the "how to" steps to take toward meditation, hopefully it will be of some help and steadily place you on the path toward making the right decisions for yourself, where ever life has left you questioning.


 http://personalexcellence.co/blog/how-to-meditate-in-5-simple-steps/

Stay Above Water...

It's difficult to stay above water. What I mean by that? I often use it as an analogy of sorts to describe what it's like to have a full, well rounded, and rational view on a circumstance, person, place, or even relational experience. I know personally, I am guilty for letting my deeper rooted emotions get the best of me in the heat of the moment. I consider myself a very passionate person, so in any given situation [if it's something I feel strong enough about] I usually blurt out whatever comes to mind first. This can prove to be a good and bad trait I find. Although it is always preferable to speak your mind and be as honest as possible, there are moments which call for a re-evaluation of sorts. I let the fiery side of me [if you will] get carried away, thus exposing my most embarrassing display of verbal diarrhea. It gets me in a heap of trouble. And it's only usually the morning after that I'm able to better understand the jist of the concept or process at hand.

Far too often we find ourselves sinking six feet under. Getting caught up in past term oil, subconscious pain, not so fond memories, jealousy, spite, and any other pessimistic human emotion (insert adjective here). It blocks us from seeing a deeper meaning or higher truth about a subject. Thus, causing us to go from staying afloat, to sinking below the surface and getting lost in the sauce.

Believe me, I know these concepts are difficult. I have my own daily struggles, but it is imperative to separate a reaction from an action, from an overreaction. It takes time and practice, however, maintaining an aerial view of things will ensure rational behaviors as well as sanity.