You've Got a Friend in Me ...

I've managed to lose a lot of friends over the years. I think most of that has to do with the fact that I've set expectations within said friendships that I couldn't deliver upon. At one point I was infatuated with being liked by everyone, to the point where I was giving so much of myself and my time that I wasn't making who I was or wanted to be a priority. I had so many people leaning on me at once that my schedule [and my life] got completely out of hand. I was living and breathing for everyone but me. No one could really see it or understand it, the only part anyone felt was my absence once I left. I wanted, no, needed a change and couldn't take the pressure of

other peoples expectations any longer.

Perhaps I didn't go about it the right way, and because of that I feel like I've lost a lot of really great meaningful people in my life that have been vitally important to my growth as a person. Regardless, I knew at the time I needed an out to get my priorities straight and to start living for myself. 

These days I think it takes a very special type of person to tolerate being in any type of relationship with me, whether it be friendship or otherwise. I'm over the top ambitious. I more often than not have 50 projects going on at once, meetings, trips, and days where I decide to shut myself off from the world around me so I'm able to reflect and gain strength to keep going. If anything, those who have stuck around long enough know I always come back around and I'll sit down and reflect with you on complications, love, and all the proponents of life as we know it, but gaping holes of time might show up more often than I do. Not because I want it that way, but mainly because I'm scattered with my passions and ideologies of changing the world. 

The bigger lesson here I guess is to be grateful for all those who have crossed your path. Some will not be so willing to forgive and forget, others come back around, and seldom adapt and see things through. No matter, just take responsibility for your actions, apologize when necessary, and know that you can't change everyone's mind about you - but the hope is that one day you'll be able to change their heart.